My Top 5 Most-Read Utah Sports Stories Of The Year

From Rudy Gobert getting life-hacked by a Minnesota teammate to a man cave in Riverton and every story about Deion and Dame you could think of, 2023 for me was interesting.

I have to admit something off the top; I'm dealing with a disease that has, as one of its many devices if you can call it such, wiped clean parts of my memory and replaced it with some broken-down version. 

Thus, using predictive text is helpful—until it isn’t, and I'm stuck in a rut having to replace a word ten times because the AI is itself having a hard time keeping up. It hasn't caught on to sarcasm, either. If I make a wisecracking wisecracking [See what's happening?!? The friggin AI engine can't understand it!] Ahem, if I make a smartalecky remark, I have to make sure the AI can't understand itvin order to proceed. [What the hell is an itvin?!? I only ask because I can’t find itvin in the dictionary. This has me concerned enough to believe my predictive text is actually from Mars.]

This Just In» my predictive text is trying to make me speak MARTIAN…

So, yes; AI I'd [can be] a great help to folks like me but as you can see from this sentence there is work to be directed done—is shay I meant to say. [See what I mean???] 

Which brings me to Christmas, where on or about this time of year our TV force-feeds us movies that make us feel guilty we aren't like these actors wearing Land’s End from head to toe. And that Home Alone 1, 2 or 3 makes us yearn when we’re together again and not alone eating orepackahed mac ‘n cheese—you know ehat I mean. 

If you were ever home alone as a kid you know exactly what I mean. As the eldest, I was “babysitting” by age 9, due to the fact that my younger brother was [these were my late mom’s own words] “hell on wheels.” [That’s if my little bro hadn’t already taken said wheels off whatever, and yes, that did include our living room sofa.] So, through pre-arranged snack bribes, I agreed to “accept” the conditions of my parents, i.e. please don’t set the living room on fire while we’re out Christmas shopping.

So, when you see some giant tree where family members gather like chipmunks at the base of the trunk filled with food and drink, their tummies in footy sleeper jammies bloated and arms opened wide for the gift avalanche they're about to receive to the point they cannot move, think of me at age 9 trying to fend off two younger siblings making he-hee-HEEEE plans in the stairwell to race up, overtake me and peel wrapping paper off presents so they could see what they were getting for Christmas.

» That’s how life works; at some point you’ll be asked to fulfill a duty you believe is beneath you in order to serve and protect some entity. [At least there will come a moment in your life that it'll feel that way.]

On advice from my doctor and having fended off the ‘vid that attached to my innards like some spider monkey to a tree [I was first infected at the outset of the pandemic at a school I taught at], I sat out Christmas 2020. In late 2021, having fended the ‘vid off for a third time [resulting in pneumonia and damage to my vocal cords], I had to skip Xmas again—but this time it came with a heavier price: my mom suffered a stroke earlier that year, in May 2021.

By May 2022, my mom was no longer with us in physical form, but the docs gave the go-ahead to celebrate Christmas 2022 with my family. It turned out to be the last time I'd get to talk to my only brother, for he had a stroke in June 2023 and now has difficulty speaking and sleeps a ton. [ChatGPT wanted to say something other than stroke, barracks so as not to disturb the readers, I suppose, but it was important enough to go back and correct this Martian robot installed in my phone.] 

I guess what I'm trying to say in my own way is I’ve learned to cherish the moments I do have left with my family. Even if it does feel a tad awkward when people scurry around you and your stare at a gift tag from “Mom & Dad” is one of borne of total confusion, I’ll play along.

I think that once you’ve lost someone close to you too early in life, there’s an emptiness you try filling with other things. For me, that’s where writing plays a role. For others like my only sis, it might be by preparing for this Xmas celebration and leaving a wrapped gift of footy sleeper jammies for me to wear to tomorrow’s Christmas celebration. [She reneged on wearing them to the actual shindig after several complaints were filed.]

To Holiday Traditions!

We’re all doing our part to contribute the best parts of ourselves in a difficult situation. So, in that vein, the stack has asked that I share with you my top stories of 2023. I have picked five that I think epitomized the year and will more than likely crawl into my upcoming book SPORTZZ FRUM HOME that has had more delays than that flight you're taking to visit family. 

Tis The Season To Be Jolly … Join The BVU Crew!

My Top 5 Most-Read Utah Sports Stories Of The Year

5. Rudy Gobert was put in timeout after punching a Minnesota teammate who was tryna lifehack the nice French giant during a timeout.

The title was self-explanatory; Kyle Anderson AKA Slo-Mo said something Rudy Gobert didn’t like. And so the French giant punched Anderson. This led to another Minnesota teammate punching the wall in the tunnel of the arena and breaking his hand. But, I guess you could say the lifehack worked; the Wolves won their play-in.

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4. In Riverton, a fan needed a place to store all of his Utah Utes memorabilia. Enter a mancave so popular it has a DJ booth, five TVs, a pool table and a floor made from Rice-Eccles Stadium turf.

Sometimes, a story falls into your lap so well that you try your best not to screw it up. That’s what I tried to do with the Utah Utes Mancave, a sports fan’s dream.

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3. Nobody in the NFL can do what BYU QB Taysom Hill does for the New Orleans Saints. In Sunday's 24-17 win over Chicago, Hill literally did it all.

Hill was a friggin’ cheat code out there, doing everything to lead his Saints to victory—he threw a touchdown pass, and caught one, too. It was just one of those rare games and moments that you felt proud to be able to witness.

2. The greatest athletes of our time don't always make the best dance pardners, as new Colorado head coach Deion Sanders is about to find out when his team enters the Pac-12 ring with the Utah Utes.

Ah, Deion. Enough said.

1. Weber State product Damian Lillard has been ignored by most of Utah. With apologies to Jimmer, there is no question the perennial NBA All-Star is the best player to have come out of any of the state's colleges.

Behind a plate of chili ice cream nachos at some Sizzler of my youth, I argue that Dame is actually better than and more famous in Utah than [gasp!] Jimmer.

Several other articles made honorable mention in terms of page views, including this Humpday news dump around the time that Utah football players got Dodge RAM trucks. Or this article about Ricky Rubio’s decision to take a break for the sake of his mental health. And this Humpday about donors to BYU athletics reportedly having donor fatigue, or Britain Covey at the Super Bowl. No matter what the story entailed in 2023, I enjoyed bringing it all to you and look forward to many more in 2024.

Thanks for reading this special edition of my weekend story. Be safe and be well, and I’ll see ya next time.