Real Salty: How Did RSL Get It So Wrong With Douglas Martinez?

Real Salty: How Did RSL Get It So Wrong With Douglas Martinez?

Ross Cain @GKenthusiast

Golazo from @Douglas_M19 to draw us even 1-1 in our preseason friendly with @realsaltlake

This Just In: The team RSL loaned Douglas Martinez to happened to be the Sacramento Republic, on a free. In three passes Saturday vs RSL, Sacto:

1. Took advantage of an RSL miscue in Sac’s attacking third

2. Hit a killer diagonal that was then passed on into the path of Martinez

3. Against his body weight starched a knuckler into opposite side netting in the 84th minute to draw RSL, 1-1

There was, however, some good with all of the bad that happened last week. RSL did score twice against Sporting KC in the other game nobody could stream [any result vs. SKC is good], last Wednesday.

Newsflash: This isn’t much of a change from how things were, under the old DLH regime. RSL still can’t hang onto 9s. Should RSL reconsider Martinez? He’d be nice behind Rubio Rubin or new signing Carlos Andres Gomez, even.

For Once, The Club Did Not Let History Repeat Itself. Oh Wait, They Actually Did With An Abomination Of A Team Profile On Apple TV. [So I Did Too By Repeating Last Week’s Subheading.]

Breaking News: RSL isn’t spending a red cent on video content this year. Either that, or they’ve hired three bruhs who cut their teeth at the Broadview University Film School. It reminded me of a used car ad you’d see on the old CW30 with the wacky graphics and text package from 1997 that would take up the entire lower half of the TV screen—except I’d be doing those people a disservice by calling it that, even.

Even the closed-captions on my TV were having trouble deciphering what in the hell Brian Dunseth was saying in that 1 minute and 54 seconds of sheer torture to my eardrums.

It’s also a problem when you:

1. Forget to mention ANYTHING ABOUT HOW THE CLUB WAS FOUNDED [how do you just leave out the first several years?!?]

2. Leave out Dave Checketts entirely [wha, yall forget to pay the man like you did *checks noooooooooootes* about three dozen people after the fall of DLH?] and several other key moments [Rimando’s PK saves, etc]

3. Leave out the one, ONE cinematic masterpiece—among others—that you should’ve had in there: RSL’s MLS Cup-winner in Seattle vs. LA Galaxy and David Beckham [you could’ve also included several other video gems, but natch].

To wrap this segment up, Brian [me] needed two Tylenol. He took those about six minutes in, and then talked about why it is so vital for the club to actually practice journalism and not content marketing. A player is not some tube of toothpaste or a used car. Also, please enjoy this leak of a Real Salt Lake kit that nobody could confirm or deny was a RSL kit:

Ultras Barras Usa @UltrasBarrasUsa

RSL Jersey 2023-2024 #rsl #realsaltlake #mls

RSL Games To See In 2023, Part Two

Since we cannot WATCH these preseason games, however, it makes more sense for us to talk about the games we’ll be able to see [be that in person, or remotely.] Here was Brian’s breakdown of games from March to June [along with a review of the club’s new pivot toward getting defenders more minutes in Liga MX]:

Real Salty: Are Times Really Changing At RSL?

Brian breaks down some must-see RSL home games for you to go to from July to October [though he skips that August 15 home tilt vs Houston Dynamo] and wraps up his two-parter, in the final segment of the podcast.

Thanks again for reading and listening to Real Salty. Subscribers, be sure to check your Promotions/Junk folders, as recent updates have been landing there. If you’re new but want to join the discussion leave us a like, a comment or consider subscribing. If you'd like to pledge your support we'd welcome it.