Real Salty: Seattle Stole Our Freaking Jersey
Kickoff: Did anyone check out Seattle’s new kit?
Here, they said. We won’t just take your:
Head coach Freddy Juarez
One of your top players in Albert Rusnak
Your one good GM Garth Lagerwey
We’ll also borrow your colors as well, they said. Who in the hell does this kind of thing? I’ll tell ya who—the Seattle Sounders do. The Sounders are like that bully in elementary school who really just wants to play with you and your shiny new ball — but who doesn’t have the social skills to communicate their wants and needs so he beats the crud out of you instead, takes all of your lunch money and steals your girl who had the blonde pig tails and braces. [Sorry, Laura, but McCleve was like that.]
This Just In: why is our club using fans to shill their kits, film their content and do their dirty work? So they can go skiing, walk their dogs at dog parks and drink cappucinos?!?
Sounds like everyone involved got these new “victory gold” jerseys [I think they look like Colombia National Team jerseys dipped in Dijon mustard] in return for hours and hours of their blood, sweat and tears. I’m sure it [a $90-150 value] won’t be used against them down the line — because this club has never acted in such a way.
What Does This RSL Team Look Like?
Great Question: Access to the team has been severely limited and thoroughly quartered off by club officials in the preseason. But if the last two games were any indication there appears to be a concerted effort to score more goals or at the very least create more goal-scoring opportunities in a number of areas.
Breaking News: The team did “win” its last three preseason games with a focus on creating those goal-scoring opportunities [and limiting opponents], and so we’ll start with the most recent result and work our way back:
5-0 win vs Chicago Fire, Sat. Feb. 18 [2 goals from Jefferson Savarino]
3-0 win vs El Paso Locomotive, Tues. Feb. 14 [2 goals from Andres Gomez]
1-1 draw vs Sac Republic, Sat. Feb. 11 [1 goal from loanee Douglas Martinez— not for us] :[
I’m still concerned by how quickly RSL gave up a goal in transition vs Sac in three friggin passes, but there does appear to be more of a concerted effort on defending in the final two preseason games—one I get into during the podcast in more detail. Here are both of Sava’s goals. The second is curled into the goal like your lips when you’re puckering up to the HBIC for one of those new victory gold jerseys.
Incremental: is what RSL head coach Pablo Mastroeni called the improvements in attack heading into Saturday’s season opener at Vancouver. Drab is what Sheena called the club’s new victory gold jerseys after she returned from a 2-week break and has now completed her move into a new house. [She is also tired of seeing the Sounders steal our ideas, our players and personnel and our team colors.]
What Does This RSL Team Look Like? [Part 2]
Breaking News: RSL actually has spent coin on players in the offseason. Carlos Andres Gomez is still acclimating and Sheena is excited about his arrival. However, we’re kind of concerned about Anderson Julio and how he fits into this front 3 [though with Rubin out Sat. at Vancouver due to yellow card accumulation Julio’s likely to get more playing time]—but there is no mistaking that:
Damir Kreilach is back and nearing full fitness;
Jefferson Savarino is taking no prisoners on that left wing
Rubio Rubin appears to be close to his 2021 form
It’s a good problem to have—but the one concern is that Danny Musovski is still a relative unknown after coming over to RSL from LAFC late last season.
Keep your eye on
Diego Luna, who’s about as versatile a player as RSL has on its roster. He can play the pivot 8, attacking 10 and left wing. [I think he will be important as the season goes on—maybe not as much early on.]
19-year-old Moses Nyeman, who got rave reviews from just about everyone I talked to before I wrote this article and put together this podcast. Was told he reminds you of a Kyle Beckerman/Tyler Adams type—someone at the 6 who can bomb forward but who is just as comfy sitting back absorbing pressure.
Delentz Pierre. The Haitian by way of Portland University is so versatile the club used him not only at center back—they took advantage of his pace on the wing in the preseason.
To wrap this segment up, goalkeeper is now a spot where there is grave concern should something happen to starter Zac MacMath.
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Real Salty: What Does This RSL Team Look Like?