3 reasons college athletes shouldn’t gamble
Now that Washington State QB John Mateer is being accused of gambling on two PAC-12 games in 2022, and says it was only a joke, here’s why it’s not:
ICYMI, a Venmo statement popped up right out of the clear blue sky and landed on Xter, my cute little nickname for that intrepid social media site where 80 percent of the accounts are fake.
This piece of trouble came from the account of one John Mateer in 2022, roundabout the time that he was a backup quarterback for Washington State and his Cougs were competing against Utah, year in and year out.
I’m sure that made ya go, hmmmmmm…and yet, what does that mean for the rest of the student-athletes in the old PAC-12? Does that mean it’s time for all students to start combing through Venmo receipts, such as some UT (Texas) student did?
Not so fast, said Mateer in this statement issued from his new school Oklahoma:
Riiight…it was just a joke! Hahaha…haha…chokes…but what about the g** s** one? Or the fat di** transaction?! What about those, huh, John?
Um, here are three reasons you should never bet on games if you’re playing college football—or not set your Venmo transactions to “Private.”
3. It is a dumb idea.
Did anyone happen to catch what happened to former Utah Jazz guard Malik Beasley? Racked up $8 million in gambling debt. EIGHT MILLION! Now it’s so easy to gamble that AI can literally take over your habit—and run off into the sunset while spouting off some PR bullshit that literally means nothing. Nada. These aggregators don’t care about you; they care about … YOUR MONEY!!
But, let’s dumb things down to the college level … even if college football players, ie meatheads, can still use their trusty AI apps to help them win more often and with more frequency. Lose? Pshaw…that ain’t happening…not for this $35.95 I’m paying per month! (And don’t call me Shaw.) Tell that to the Iowa State football team that had FOUR STARTERS (sorry, I was trying to make a point) convicted … not accused … of misdemeanor charges of tampering related to sports gambling—and one was even accused of betting on his own team.
Things were so bad at ISU, the alma mater of one best friend, that their own athletic director — or director of athletics, if you want to be technical, which I don’t — had to issue a statement telling the world that his university was on top of the matter and they would do everything in their power (read: contact their legal team) to correct the four errors, I mean, student-athletes that lived in the dorms and farted on each other’s faces, laughing.
“Since becoming aware of potential NCAA eligibility issues related to sports wagering by several of our student-athletes back in May, Iowa State University has been actively working to address these issues with the involved student-athletes, and that process remains ongoing," Iowa State senior athletics director Nick Joos said in a statement in 2023. "We will continue to support our student-athletes as our compliance staff works with the NCAA to sort out questions surrounding their future eligibility for athletics competition.”
OMG, what a bunch of hooey…
2. It is STILL a dumb idea.
Enlisting the help of your parents to make your bets sounds lovely on the surface, and yet the information of YOUR FAMILY is still on the signup form! That’s what these wahoos from ISU did, and wahoos from UNO (New Orleans) and wahoos from Fresno State (California) and wahoos from … why are all these “gamblers” from places that have high crime rates? (Oh, and Detroit. Almost forgot that school. Well, my argument jibes even more then.)
I don’t know about you, but in all of these schools exceptin’ fer Iowa State (Ames, ‘nuff said there, heh) they aren’t that “big” in the whole sports landscape. You don’t often compare The University Of New Orleans to, say, LSU or Fresno State to UCLA. I see; the perfect crime, mayhaps? Mayhaps…
Well, it is a friggin gospel FACT that smaller schools in the NCAA, such as Group Of Fives (such as Fresno, UNO and Uh-Oh U in Michigan) but especially Division II and Division III have more student-athletes participating in sports gambling than in Division I.
1. Student-athlete sports gambling is ILLEGAL
Kids are stupid. Nothing is new under the sun, especially under the snapback brims of YA’s (sorry, not spelling it out) ages 18-22 yelling “Let’s Gooooooooooo” for no real reason except they did something they thought was lit. (If you said lit to my generation 1990’s 22 us at Denny’s would’ve said, “yeah, my Camel Wide is lit, dumbass…can I have your Camel Bucks? There’s this T-shirt I want.” blows smoke rings)
Ya see? Kids make mistakes. This new generation not only thinks they’ve scored a 99-yard touchdown when they run for a half-yard gain, they’re apparently broke as shit—ergo, the need for risking it all on betting apps.
The problem is, it’s illegal according to the NCAA—to some extent. Let me explain. The rules on sports gambling by student-athletes state that they can bet to their heart’s content on other sports they aren’t playing (the grand poobah calls it “sponsoring”) and yet what happens if they bet on their own sport?
Well, doing that and getting caught results in a 6-game suspension, which is roughly the same amount of time that Jake Retzlaff caught for doinking that young lady in his Provo home of old.
Instead of following the BYU Honor Code, ‘ol Jakey transferred to Tulane, which is roughly the equivalent of me ignoring the Surgeon General’s Warning on my CAMEL cigarettes and doing whatever the hell I wanted even if all the signs said that it was bad for me. «
Overthink This Photo 📸
Speaking of, this 18-year-old “kid” Kaden Lopez of Phoenix, who looks like he washed his hair last month and has all the acne to prove it, was arraigned and got the book thrown at him and will go to prison.
I’m kidding. Lopez faces charges of assault and disorderly conduct since the green object in question landed in someone’s face and then their lap.
He’s like one of about six knuckleheads facing charges for throwing the uh, objects onto the floors of WNBA basketball arenas at games.
I don’t know about you, but nobody is asking how Lopez got that thing into the arena in Phoenix. Perhaps he was just looking for a way to take his mind off this kind of heat:
If that ever reaches Utah, we’re melting AND we’ll have biblical floods, the likes of which haven’t been seen here since my hometown dropped sandbags along the highway so that it could be saved. Yes, I said saved.
We shall return soon with the book review. Everything in its time, people. «
#BullshitOrNot
Alright, we end this week with a real dilemma: does Anthony Edwards take the bait and pay a ransom for his child, or does he take this baby manufacturer to court?
The ransom note was wild: Howard, 39, lol, wants a $500k one-time payment, an apology, and $55k annually for life, on top of child support, for sole custody of her daughter with Anthony Edwards, 23. Cougar.
Thanks for reading; be safe and be well. I’ll see ya next time. «